-INSPIRE YOUR FAITH

CHANGE!

2007-09-23T07:20:00.000-07:00

heh.
i've moved.
http://livesinme.livejournal.com/

2007-09-22T23:55:00.000-07:00

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don't you knowthe hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels
our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fatetime falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain
let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don't mind
if it's me you need to turn to
we'll get by,
it's the heart that really matters in the end
our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain
all of my regret will wash away some how
but i can not forget the way i feel right now
in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain,
still remainthese little wonders these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these little wonders still remain

~~it's time to move on.~~
God, i'm sorry i even thought of it.
i'm going to trust you 100%
yes everything, everything

LOVE

2007-09-15T08:52:00.000-07:00

wow.
preparing for prayer meeting and leading it has been...
well lets say it's one of an experience.
a good one.
i really learnt to rely on God,
although i was very scared and the fear was rather evident in my voice.
i din want to use the mike . i dont like it.
i never did as a prefect, a councillor and just as a person.

God's been really faithful.
while i was preparing for the prayer meeting,
i was looking through my bible for a verse and 'pop'
i turned to deuteronomy( i hope i spelt it correctly)
18:6-7 and guess what?
it was about the levites(celebration team)
cool huh?
i dont know how much the people understand what i was trying to share
but you know what, that's not for me to make them understand.
you get what i mean?

sighs. this week has been a hell of a week.
prelims have kept me busy.
terrible.
facts and formulas are all stuck in my head.
leaving little room for the short term memory space.
LOL. i seriously suffer from STM la
sighs. bad bad.
so i'm really sorry if i can't remember a lot of things =/
HEEHEE.
ohwells.

God, thank you for being so faithful(:'
ilovemyGod

mugg mugg mugg

2007-09-10T04:27:00.000-07:00

i promise mugging for prelims/o levels is no fun=(
my body system is swirling with coffee.
you have no idea how much i've drunk menn.
i feel horrible but it's like the thing that keeps me awake.
hurr.
i'm tired.
yet i'll keep pressing on((:
~~i will prove you wrong~~

2007-09-05T22:44:00.000-07:00

just a random thought.

when you pray for, lets say courage to step up of your comfort zone,
or whatever you want, God doesn't just give it to you.
He gives you opportunities to be courageous (etc).
that is when you find what you're looking for.
(:

love

2007-09-04T19:34:00.001-07:00

okayy. maybe i've been a bit emo in my posts.

but i'm definetly better now.

how true.

when you're hurting inside,

what you really want to know is if anyone at all cares about you.

God does not expect us to be perfect when we are hurting

God does not judge us simply from our inability to process pain

such a timely sermon(:

i needed most.

________________________________________________________________

anyways. yesterday was ushers' inting.

lol. it ws enjoyable really although i din play coz of the stupid sprain of back.

how dumbdumb. sighs. nonethless it was good((:

i hope it went as well for the new ushers.

i have pictures! well not as much as those on ian's camera. but i do have.

so if you want drop me a tag.heh.

i've got unglam shots of the leaders.

HEEHEE!

after the whole thing, the leaders went for dinner,ern treat(: then ben and jerry's!

lol. that's twice i've eaten ben and jerry's this week menn.

then home.

You ask, “Where is God when it hurts?”
He said, “Right Here!”

i love you Lord

2007-09-02T06:38:00.000-07:00

it never rains, but it always pours.
but you know what.
i'll keep holding on, not because it is my duty,
but because i love God and i want to obey him.
God, everything is in your hands.
please guide me out of this rough patch.

one step closer to you.

2007-08-27T04:18:00.000-07:00

You work hard, seeking success. You are self-sufficient and in spite of all the trials and tribulations that have beset you in the past you carry on regardless..
You are one to be admired because you pursue your objectives single-mindedly and with initiative. You know that you can 'do it' and what is more, you will - without necessarily being dependent upon the goodwill of others.
Your situation is such that at this time it is essential that you resolve your inherent problems immediately. You are not listening nor taking heed from your many friends and advisers, all of which believe it or not, 'wish you well'. Most of your colleagues feel that your attitude is out of context - an attitude of recklessness and desperation.
It is imperative that some solution be found, but whatever you do, think before you act.
You feel very lonely and frustrated at this time but your shyness and modesty precludes you from establishing any deep form of relationship.
You feel rather isolated and alone. You are egocentric and you believe that you are always right - well maybe you are - but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offence for the slightest reason.
As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show.
It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd.
Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.You are afraid that you may not be able to realise or achieve your hopes and desires and so you insist that people should accept you as you are and appreciate your rights to anything that you aspire to.

omg.this is so me.
haha.
i'm bored and need entertainment=(
try this:http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/
(:

2007-08-26T07:52:00.000-07:00

sighing would be an understatement to the
immance sense of pain i feel inside
i'm okay?
definetly not.
but i can't seem to dispatch this negative emotion.
this is bad.
prelims are coming.
i don't want to study out of obligation.
i don't want to study because someboby wants me to study.
Even more, i don't want to study because of the guilt my teachers put upon me.
personally, i feel it's all nonsense.
i'll study because i just want to.
right now, i need someone to confide in.
someone i can trust.

God's moulding me again.
He's brought me yet into another wilderness.
but will i have the strength to keep holding on
all the rights have becomed wrongs
my world's turned upside down, inside out
i need to keep believing, i want to keep believing.
that dumb ass devil keeps placing stupid thoughts in my head.
He keeps questioning my faith.
and sometimes i stumble.
i question God's plan.
but there's always this still small voice that reassures me,
tells me that everything is under control,
that He has the upper hand,
in due time, everything will fall into place.
then the thought comes.
how long would i have to wait?
are you sure that if you wait, everything will be alright?
And i know i have to keep believing, hoping and praying even more.

God, please instill in me that child-like faith.
to believe that your plans are so much higher then my circumstances.
i will not temper with the commitments that i've made.
i will trust in you.
i don't want to pretend that i'm alright, and run away from my problems.
God please make my path straight.
hold my hand every single step of the way and
constantly remind me that there is always the light at the end of the tunnel.
God, words alone cannot describe how much i really need you.
because i really do.

i need you.

2007-08-23T02:37:00.000-07:00

i screwed up both practicals menn.
chemistry was much more predictable.
Q.A and titration.didn't know how to design the experiment tho =/
haha. bio was a bit more interesting.
heehee. tested what was supposedly to be samples of urine to deduce what kind of illness
the person had.
for a moment i felt like some forensic scientist of some sort.
lol
the second question was difficult tho.
labelled the parts of the kai lan any o how.
lol. wrote nonsense for the difference btw the ginger and the kai lan too
haha. ohwells. i'll trust God((:

because human strength alone is insufficient
God, you don't know how much i need you.

2007-08-20T23:18:00.000-07:00

second time in a day, boy must i be bored.
haha.
i think i'm wasting time.
tmr's prelim chemistry practical.
i'm suppose to go study with jy and rach,
but i doubt i'll be
able to go=(
i'm also supposed to go visit jeremy with cord and sarah,
but i doubt i'll be able to go.

i'm so screwed.
i can't sense the urgency of the hour.
i'm just wasting the time away.
computer's a big distraction.
so i'll be away on a haitus from blogging, msn-ing, etc etc
checking of email is a must tho.

ohyes.
21th august
happy birthday crystal, janell,amanda teo and sherron(:

2007-08-20T23:17:00.000-07:00

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I was lost!"
That is why I chose this way.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumbled and
need someone to be my guide.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and
pray for strength to carry on.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and
cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
my flaws are too visible but
God believes I'm worth it.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I seek His name.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority.
I only know I'm loved

time's slowly slipping out of my fingers

2007-08-18T09:30:00.000-07:00

today was yet another day wasted.
din really get to study.
did only Q.A. for this coming practical, only to find out
that they would give us the stupid facts, so we don't have to memorise at all
hurr.
anyways,
i enjoyed the company really((:
met jy at her school, then it was donuts.
it was good, heehee. we had 3 donuts each for our lunch.
lol
call us pigs menn.
then it was off the her house where i studied.
then off to meet andrea to C.H.C
joyce meyer was speaking. she's GOOD.
really good.
she spoke about seizing the opportunity.
really good really.
after the service went to meet joeyee, meryl and huat at bugis,
then we trained down to city hall to watch the fire works
nice(:
then to eat.
and now i'm home.

oh. during the service, something really was thought provoking.
she said :
"going to church does not make you a christian. just like going to the garage does not make you a car"

throughout her service, she made a lot of interesting comments.
she made really great illustrations too.
her sermon's animated but puts across a very simple message that pierces through your heart.
she's one great and awesome woman, chasing feverently the heart of God. i really admire her.

Don't try to fit into a chair that you're already in

please

2007-08-14T02:22:00.000-07:00

AHHH.
T-p offered me a place.
so how now God?
remember our pact?
looks like it's not in your plans for me huh?
should i accept? should i not?
ahhhhhahhhh
i really don't know
but with my results now, i think i may need it.
i wouldn't want to end up with some course that i don't want=(
ahhhahhh
i really don't know.
help=(

this i pray,
this i seek.
that you show me the plans you have for me

smiles all around(

2007-08-10T18:11:00.000-07:00

thursday.
went to suntec to watch the fireworks.
gave up half way.
saw abit then i left to get donuts are donut factory.
YAY!i manage to get one dozen of them. heehee(:
(they're all gone now)
oh. something funny happened on the way home.
while walking to the bus stop, this T_p guy said 'excuse me'
coz he was trying to catch the bus upfront.
so i moved aside, stopped there for a while.
then i continued to walk.
SUDDDENLY, this rat( i think, coz it was rather dark) ran across the footpath
oh my. can you imagine, if i din stop back then, the rat would have run over my leg.
i wouldn't want that to happen.

friday

Zone one fun day at sentosa.
heehee.
FUN FUN!
got to know even more people better.
laughs.

games
captians ball with weird stuff like peeled oranges, eggs,
lettuce, bananas etc.
then splash. which turned out to be a rather funny game.
i mean for joeyee and i lah
then ultimate frisbe with i cannot catch at all.
then a friendly volleyball game.
the last game, capture the flag.
well we lost. coz even before we could start the game, 2 of our flags were captured
tsktsk.
but i think we managed to protect it for long(:
while the other half of the zone played, we went to slack in the sea,
buried lim jun in the sand. -laughs.
he kept breathing so hard, the sand around the chest area kept cracking.
vann asked him to stop breathing. -laughs.
showering was funny.
we din have soap or shampoo. so we resorted to borrowing from other people.
thank God they were nice people.
so we went to vivo feeling nice and clean(:
but we made the guys wait for long.
haha.
full flame-d at night.
they all laughed at me for being so red=(
tsktsk.sighs.
ohyes. i'm terribly burnt. so much for wanting to sun tan.
lol. my red red. like lobster=((
very painful but itchy. when you want to scratch it, it becomes pain.
was really really tired.
then home(:

saturday

discipleship meeting with cord, which wasn't really a discipleship meeting.
laughs.
service.
then dinnered. the studied with joeyee and yiren.
haha. not really fruitful tho.
i'm tired and terribly burnt.
someone save me=(
i was suddenly reminded of 13th being the day we get back 'o' level chinese results
as well as DPA.
plus something i can't really remember.
i'm scared. but you know what, no matter what happens, i'm going to trust go, whatever the results(: coz i know that He has a perfect plan for me.

alrights. i'm off to lala land.
tired. the burn kept me awake last night=(

-sighs. i wish you where more aware and more caring.
haha. people just ain't satisified with life are they?
everyday i'm still trying to let go and let God.

Thanks for the memories(

2007-08-09T07:36:00.000-07:00

080807
was really a day of nostalgia, tears and even more tears
2nd students' council investiture, step up/step down
to all the friendships made,
i really thank God for placing so many awesome people
in my life.
really, thanks to everyone.
i'm really going to treasure the slightly more than 2 months in KC i have left.
because i'm sure all these friendships are going to carry me through.
manda, andrea,
ex-cos..
seniors.. how could i ever have gotten through prefects/council, without them
especially during the sec 3 period.
boy were those my hardest days. but they were there(:
juniors that never fail to smile when you meet them.
although we're friendly and all, we know where to draw the line.
etc etc etc((:

letting go sure is hard.

God, i thank you for everything.
For having such a wonderful and perfect plan for me
i pray that in the remaining days i have left at KC,
i'll make the best out of it.
God i can never thank you enough.
(:
iloveyou

FRIENDS

2007-08-06T04:49:00.000-07:00

photos as promised((:

1) ain't doggie cute!((: lol! doggie's special.

individual shots of vann, joeyee, rachel and mel pool-ing((:
Last shot) after steamboat(:
haha. i love my friends((:

hohoho.

i think i'm going through yet another emotional roller coaster ride.

haha.

but i'm still keeping ever cheerful and positive about it all.

what i really need most?

GOD(:

lots of stuff to do.

council investiture this wednesday,

board meeting this wednesday.

oh, KING AND I this wednesday too!

haha. busybusybusy.

but i'm still taking time off to seek God(:

LOVES!

i could search for all eternity long and find that there is none like you

2007-08-04T18:22:00.000-07:00

Maybe i'm just wasting my time.
~~when i say i don't like___~~
i think it's because i feel like i'm wasting my time.
~~and you know i hate to waste time.~~
~~-sighs~~

rant rant rant.

well.i doubt i'll be taking a ministry break for 'o's
i really sure that God will honour this commitment.
i still want to serve him despite the 'o's
(:
well. vann asked again for me to join cell ministry.
it's something i really got to seek and ask God.
cell minstry ain't easy.
you've got to set an example for the people to follow.

alot of things i can't say here. maybe i should change to livejournal.
then i can have private posts
heh.

i think i need to be even more God-centred.
forget what the world things about you.
what for do we need to please this world that comes and goes.
not worth it at all.
you can't please both man and God because they are worlds apart.
like north pole and south pole.

WHEEEE!

2007-07-29T09:03:00.000-07:00

HOHOHO!

steamboat with loves at marina bay was awesome!
LOL
making complete fools of ourselves, screaming and laughing ourselves silly,
making ourselves the center of attraction((:
after steamboat was pool!
LOL
din really do too well at first.
then after that was much better.
heehee.
vann made a weird comment. haha
bus 400 was totally packed! like sardines.
really uncomfortable really.
hohoho.
Hot dragon boaters.

photos to upload soon.
it's late already

heh!
I LOVE YOU GUYS!((:

i will never let you go, never let me go.

2007-07-28T07:49:00.000-07:00

Funny how God works doesn't He.
how He used a friend of mine to remind me about certain things,
how He made sure i crossed paths with someone at T_P
so that i din have to do the interview alone.
funny how things happen the way they do.
God's awesome(:

this week has been hectic!
interview plus installation practice on the same day.
interview at T_P was scary!
actually on hearing what i needed to be good at, at the interview,
made me reconsider whether or not i want to do that course.
so once again, mel is back to square one=(
ohwells. i think i'm really really gonna have to trust God on this.

GOD! i love you!
i will never let you go!(:

Happy Birthday To Me(:

2007-07-25T07:10:00.001-07:00

THANK YOU
to all the people who remembered((:
and those who remembered but almost forgot. HAHA!
i really appreciate it

LOVE

38

2007-07-21T18:40:00.000-07:00

WHOO!
NUBIAN GENTS WAS AWESOME!!!

i can't believe it's over. all the planning, rushing here and there
to complete what needed to be done and now it's over
God was really awesome
although my friends din come,
i din really get to worship, or listen to the sermon,
but at least i saw nubian gents performing.
boy are they good!
((:
i salvation and 13 decisions for my area((:
cool menn
i think i've really been blessed by God

2007-07-19T05:20:00.000-07:00

HOHOHO

nubian gents is in 2 days time.
planning is crazy menn.
and i've alot to remember.
but i pray that i won't be so over-absorbed in the planning
and the excecution of things, over-look the more important works, or the
very reason why we're there for.(:
three days of fasting has gone by.
but i won't say it was easy menn.
hohoho. let's just say i've got a weak spot for FOOD
((:
so i'm really going to trust God((:

more planning plus work to do((:
harry potter this saturday too!
then rushing off to serve for nubian gents.
YAY! lunch appointment with dear girlfriend tmr((:
i can't wait for school to end menn.

LOVE

LOVE

2007-07-16T02:43:00.000-07:00

THANK YOU ANDREA((:

i'm even more happy to hear that i made an impact in your life,
then the hear that i'm your favourite senior.
lol. , it doesn't matter if i'm your favourite.
but as long as i know that i made an impact in your life,
i really am more then happy((:
thanks a lot for the early birthday present((:
funny how you bought a note book.
haha. how did you know that i have a weak spot for notebooks(:
and cows too. HEEHEE.
yay. i love you too(((:

haha. leading up to this.
it's quite funny how i chose yellow between blue.
and the yellow was really applicable to me.
on it said BELIEVE. blue said REJOICE.
haha.
believe is something that i really really struggle with,
although at the back of my head, there's this still small voice that constantly reminds me
so that notebook's going to serve as a reminder visual reminder((:

HEEHEE
YAY!
i said it before, and i'll say it again(:

i love God who's provided me with friends
i love my friends whom i can count on((:

LOVE

WARNING! long post ahead

2007-07-14T09:15:00.000-07:00

MEL!
(: Without prefects, without student council,
I wonder if we will be more than just friends, I am happy for prefects and council!
Without them, I would never have a friendship bonded so close together with you,
I will miss you when you're gone
Without you in council events, I feel like I have no one to talk to you on the contrary.
I still have a year to endure. I remember how you and I, from sec2 trainee prefects to sec3 junior prefects to now, sec4 senior prefects.
Remember the prefect board that transformed into Student Council last year together with the PSLs?
I remember everyone's emotions stirring in them.
And we haven't done any shopping yet, from a LONG time ago, we haven't have a day out together for a LONG LONG time.
YAY!
Long John's next week after school!
I miss eating with you at the noodles stall, chatting away at benches with bubble tea.
If there wasn't you, I wouldn't have known Cai too.
My best girlfriend indeed, I LOVE YOU MEL! (:
Yes, I started calling you MEL and everyone else around in school calls you MEL too! Don't they know that only I can call you that? (Kidding)
I will miss knocking on 405's backdoor next year on Friday mornings, chatting with you in the mornings at the netball court, attending council events, walking back to classes after morning assembly, ushering during EMDD, I will miss you so much girlfriend
But! We live so near to each other, we can even walk there!
Thanks for lending me your iron in the middle of the night,
I can never find another girlfriend like you who can stand my madness all day long.
Although sometimes you desperately want me to shut up, but I wouldn't.
How council events, and council camps would be so much different in future.
No one will talk to me till 3++ in the morning and bear with my addiction of singing before sleeping! My HARRYPOTTER fan too! How strong our friendship is, within this short 3 years. I <333 YOU SO MUCH GIRLFRIEND! We'll stay that way, for life (:

-ripped from manda's blog.

oh. how i love my friends.
( and no, there was no sacasm to it)
haiz.
you know,i can't wait to leave the school?
but ironically, i can't bear to to leave my dears behind.
and gosh. it's only the middle of the year.
wait till it comes to the end of the year.
sighs.

discipleship meeting with cord this morning. or should i say yesterday morning.
haha. cord said that i was issue-less.
maybe i'm not. give me some time.
maybe i'll tell you over email or something.
then L-cell.
i love my bunch of leaders menn.
haha.
then to serve.
cell after service was great((:
on the train home, joeyee said i was emo.
no i wasn't. it's just that i have a lot of things running through my head.
haha.
issues.
(therefore i'm not issue-less)
but to me, i think they are very sensitive issues.
so cord, give me time yea?
heh

AMANDA(:

ohboy when i look back and see the friendship we have. i must say i really thank God for you((:
yea. makes you wonder doesn't it. where will we be without prefects and council.
would we even be friends?haha. boy am i going to miss the times when we stand at the basketball court for morning assembly, sitting together for every assembly, talking.
WAH! i'm really going to miss those times.
haiz. funny how fate is like.
wellwellwell. heehee. in order to repay me for 'matching' you and ian, you've got to invite me to your wedding. haha. although it seems really early to say anything. but i think at the rate you're going. heehee. wedding bells will ring sooner. haha.
WHEE.
yes. you started calling me MEL first.
haha.the distinct MEELL(meow)
heehee. it means you're a trendsetter.haha((:
haiz. i really do treasure our friendship my dear girl((:
although this short paragraph is really an understatement.
but you know what i mean((:
yes. finally, long john this coming week.
and maybe a little window shopping?
heehee. loves((:

p.s: actually i wanted it pink. your favourite colour. but i figured that eyes would hurt.

God i really treasure those around me
......
i think you know my heart(:

LOVE

untitled

2007-07-08T05:56:00.000-07:00

-sighs
i think i'm really stuck in the vicious cycle.
but i'm definetly clinging on to God's promises.
coz God din't promise life to be a bed of roses,
but He did promise shelter from the rain, light for the way
and comfort for the weary times(:

HAHA.
gosh does the future seem bleak.
-sighs. my first practical, chemistry, starts in 62 days time.
(that is, excluding weekends)

~~haha.~~

wellwellwell.
on a lighter not.
EMDD was great .
it was like a reunion of old friends(:
come to think of it, around this time next year,
i'll be together with the batch of seniors, coming back for
vists and not forgetting EMDD. haha. well. attending it and not ushering for it.
OH! talking about ushering. yes. i was ushering for the event
so for the church people who asked why i din go for service.
HAHA. well i was at victoria theater.
LOL
the dramatic arts society sure deserves more than just silver menn.
the play was super touching. cancer by my chemical romance
surely set the mood. lol
WELL DONE!((:
although we all din really have time to talk.
LOL
the turn out for matinee was bad but gala was great
20 mins interval during the matinee saw manda and i gobbling
down our lunch to satisfy our rumbling tummies.
haha. dinner was all the great. haha.
we had trouble finding a place to eat! the basement was over populated by the performer.
so we resorted to eating out at front of the victoria theater. lol
at the area near the pond.
HAHA! which i think drew curious stares from a few passer-bys

i'm definetly looking for to the end of the week!
i can't wait to go back to church.
there's the sense of... well. something i can't explain.
but i love church((:
HAHA! i can't wait to serve this week too
HOHOHO!
and nubien gents next week((:
YAY!
cord say i'll be in charge of the ushers in the worship centre.
HOHOHO.
the whole event's going to be something the leaders are going to trust God for yea?
haha.

________________________________________________________________

21st july

riverlife church,

worship centre

nubien gents.

do sms if you wanna come(:
i think it's going to be awesome

_________________________________________________________________

yes dear,
thanks for the rose. haha
and yes. it does smell nice. haha. metaphorically.
LOL
iloveyou.
i'm sure you don't know but i really do thank God for you(:

my simple prayer

2007-07-04T02:49:00.000-07:00

God help me to stay on track,
to stand in line with your perfect will,
doing all these with you in the center,
coz right now, only what you think matters.

i love my ministry.
but i love what God's doing in my ministry more((:

-nope i won't be swayed by the world.

you're greatness has no boundaries, my heart is filled with praise(

2007-06-30T10:50:00.000-07:00

i really really feel the urge to blog.
LOL it's 2am in the morning.
HEEHEE youth day.
LOL. how much of a youth am i? HAHA
okayy. let's just say i'm young at heart=))
HEEHEE. okayy. maybe i am young.

LOL. getting to more serious matters

i feel kinda special this week=)
i don't know how to explain but God has been really good lah
Great till no words can describe.
i've been so so so blessed by him lah
i mean He just knows my heart.
i don't even have to say it out and he knows
God's really wonderful
He heals you when you least expects it.when you feel like you're useless,
He never fails to make you feel useful.
i love God lah.
HE'S REALLY GREAT((:

today's one good example.
the pastor used me to lay hands on the people whom he couldn't.
(you get what i mean.)
i was like. why out of so many people catching, you ask me?
even when there's another catcher's so near-by you?
i didn't realise it there and then,
but God was reminding me that i din have to be some super annointed person,
to lay hands on other people, and see them fall under the power of God.
i am useful, not useless.
just like every christian has his or her own purposes and ministry((:
at the end of the whole thing, the pastor gave my one of his books, to 'thank' me.
i was stunned lah.
i was thinking, why out of so many people who were catching? you
chose to give the book to me?
why me?
that brought me to remember what happened during last week's service.
it made me realize,
EH! I'M NOT INVISIBLE AFTER ALL.=))
heehee.
God is just great lah
everything's falling nicely into place.
i'm re-finding( if there's even such a word) that first love.
where nothing else really mattered except what God's opinion was.
NO way am i going to let the evil one take that away from me again.
because i now know how EVER EVER important His presence, the knowing that He's watching over you, that His grace is covering you, is to me
it's like when God's the center, everything else fits perfectly.
just like jigsaw puzzles.
to sum it all up with 3 words,
I LOVE GOD

my aching all over from all that catching=)
but it's worth it

God, you're just so wonderful((:

i'm good to go

2007-06-29T08:41:00.000-07:00

HOHOHO

this week if i were to sum it up, would be
"full of surprises".

despite the very hectic, busy and stressful school days,
i actually found the time to spend with God((:

God really is a wonderful God, the more time you spend with him,
the closer your relationship get and in turn, his plans for you becomes so much clearer.
indeed God is good((:
He's bless me endlessly this week, and in very obvious ways in fact(:
i really thank God for those that have been real blessings to my life.
these people don't come by everyday.

(i have scattered train of thoughts so i'm writing whatever comes to mind)

went for [full flame gospel] today.
i expected to get something out of this course, but i never expected that something to
be so so so big. it really blew me off my feet!
thanks Pj, that was what i really really needed. assurance(:
i've been struggling with a lot of stuff lately.
it's funny coz at the back of my head, i know that God loves me for just the way i am.
but i always question that unconditional love that He gives.
am i really deserving of his love?
full flame is really good lah
today's message was pretty clear.
the matchless message(:

only when you first learn to love yourself, only then can you love others
when you love, do you really love, or are you just going through the motions?
when you welcome people into the house of God, are you doing it for the sake of doing it?
because even shop keepers are able to do that to attract business.
so what sets you apart from the shop keepers, christians?
are you living up to your calling that God has given you?

-ILOVEMYGOD
no words can explain or describe the joy in my heart

WHEEEEE

2007-06-23T21:13:00.000-07:00

hello all
as yall would have guessed, yesterday was saturday((:
HEEHEE
well. service was great, but alter call was awesome((:
i dont know why, but i would always be the last ones to be prayed for,
or not at all. like you know, always looked pass.
but then it hit me.
you dont have to have someone pray for you to experience break thru.
cause i sure did
at the alter call, i was reminded of the many books of sermon, copied from the outline.
BOY that was years ago. 2 years i think.
i used to copy down whatever was taught, read the bible ever so faithfully.
but now, come to think of it, i haven really done the copying and bible reading has become sporadic.
God was reminding me, taking me back to my first love, when nothing else mattered.
only him.
only him can fufill
then i felt a sharp pang.
like you know heart ache?
the devil knows my weakness.
HAHAH
but too bad i now know that you're using it against me
so i wont get affected by it
we had to let go of everything, and surrender it to God.
two hands.
the first was easy. but the second wasn't
the future.
i knew i had too but so many things were holding me back.
it was so so so so so hard if you know what i mean
it's easy to say but doing it was hard
but now, God has the driver seat in my life =)

LOVE

God you know me inside out.i'm sorry for those times.
i want to love you all over again and never let go
i'm clinging on to your love/grace/mercy/strength/
i'm clinging on to you

you don''t always get what you want

2007-06-18T23:51:00.001-07:00

why is it when you want something so much, it never happens, you never get it?
and those people who don't expect it, always gets it.
maybe i should stop digging too much into things.
maybe i should stop thinking too much.

well. i guess things are getting better.
for the very few who know, the problem's been resolved.
but i still feel that there's something missing.

i guess you'll never know huh?

ohwells. i gtg. homework calls.
but i'm lazy.

the image of you keeps getting stuck in my head.
i wish you would disappear, so i can forget all about you, and start all over again.
you let me down, time and time again.

did you make it this way?

2007-06-13T09:59:00.000-07:00

i feel like as though i made myself ride on a roller coaster with many many rises and drops.
nobody forced me to, nobody dared me to.
i just got on board it myself.

(if you get what i'm driving at.)

boy are my days getting tougher.
but it feels as if i made it tougher myself,
creating unecessary waves in my life.
talk about making my life more 'interesting'.

don't ask me to expain, because i myself can't either.
what's wrong with me?
to tell you the truth, i don't know either
i'm letting the days pass, not making them count,
staring aimlessly into space.
maybe it's time to give up,
to give up waiting.
you should to.
maybe i'm relying too much on my own strength.
it's alway been a weakness the leaches on me, like a parasite.
leaders camp made me question.
how? how do i let go and let God?
it's so easy to say but do i put it into action.
do i really have the faith to let God's will be done in my life and not mine?
or do i only rely on him in bad times and in the good times He's far from near.

when i encourage people,
were those encouragements actually meant for me?

ironic.

why am i running away from God?

2007-06-03T06:47:00.000-07:00

hello

i'm back from council camp.

lots of photos=))

heehee. can't believe it's my last year.

Lol

o level chinese was horrible.

served yesterday.

was good i guess

met new member.

heehee.

did worship for combined cell.

boy was i scared and tired.

i din sleep for 24 hours lah.

was cam whoring with manda at night.

then i couldn't fall alseep coz the mat was so hard.

HAHA. call my pampered.

was up early the next morning from camp to go straight to flag day.

and from there to chruch for ushering.

HEEHEE.

gosh i'm so tired now=/

and there's school tmr.

-sighs.

i wish i was at leaders camp.

and not have to go to school.

alrights.

i better be gone.

SHRIEK the THIRD!

heehee

loves.

-maybe i'll take that back love.

into your hands i commit again

2007-05-25T18:12:00.000-07:00

passed the baton i have
i wonder how they will fare?

gosh. my report book's out. chinese o's are on monday. :/
and i've been such a avid 'stay -outer' (is there even such a word?)
haiz. coming back to the report book part.
haiz. i got a dreadful 17 points for L1R5 and 13 for L1R2B2
i wonder where that will take me?
but i'll still apply for DSA and DPA.
i hope i'll get a spot somewhere.
but the next question is where?
JC gives you a more cozy environment, whereby people care for one another and all( or so it seems)
whereas poly life is more inclind to helping you face the outside world.
so where do i go?
haiz. i really don't know menn.
to think i still dont have a clear cut idea of where i'm going yet :/
scary.

oh well.was suppose to be in school today at 0730
but i couldn't wake up.
i guess it's because of the late nights i've been having.
oh. today's KC family day.
i'm so going there to have BEN N JERRY'S
YAY!
(((:
cookie dough and strawberry shortcake here i come!!!

SMILES!!!

emo-ing

2007-05-19T20:43:00.000-07:00

i guess almost everone has their emo caps on.
including me
i just don't know how to explain how i'm feeling
it's like a cocktail of raw emotion.
hurr, i really can't stand it.
i don't want to feel this way.
but i can't i can't break out of the vicious cycle of emotion.
i can't explain why i feel like that either.
it's so hard to smile or feel happy.
i keep staring into empty space and drift off.
thoughts keep running through my head

well. during cell vann asked if i was okay.
i said yes.
but the truth is that i'm not okay.
but i don't know what is making me not okay.
i don't. i really don't.
i guess after tossing and turning in bed
and thinking about stuff, has made me somewhat better,
but has made me really deprived of sleep.
haiz.

you know i hate you. i hate you for existing.
for treating me so nicely, and giving me the wrong idea.
i guess i also have some fault in it.
hurr. i just hate you.
you know i've already forgotten about you,
until you 'walked' back in again.
oh my.i wished i din know you.

2007-05-15T05:09:00.000-07:00

boy, the exams are over.
and.. ironically, i've got nothing to do.
lol

well,
i was walking home after shopping and guess what i saw?
menn.
the thing of the century.
can you imagine?

i saw a mother with her child
(well, nothing unusual right?)
but... the mother wasn't holding the child's hand but instead,
like a dog, he was leashed to his mother.
ohmy.
how can?
how can the mother leash him
maybe it is for his own good. but..
i mean...
we shouldn't be bounded like animals are right?
we are given the freedom of choice after all.
tsktsk.
haiz. don't know what the mother's thinking.
lol

alrights
i think i'm going away for some RnR
-smiles.

you know you make my heart beat faster?

2007-05-13T03:02:00.000-07:00

1) i love you guys(:

2) the day the cell went to send jialin to the US.

well.

i guess i'm coping with the blow pretty well.

apart from the frequent heart aches.

makes me think that i'm going to get a heart attack or something.

my head hurts too.

thank God for friends that care.

really makes my day or rather my life (:

heh.

i admit. it ain't easy. but i'll tide thru.

i promise i will.

smiles wide

friends don't worry.

when tears well up

i know who i can't turn too.

and that's all that matters.

i'll be strong.

-loves

is that still me?

2007-05-06T00:24:00.000-07:00

i guess i was right.
my world is crumbling
i don't know lah.
it just gets so frustrating.
i wish i wish....
oh. forget it.
i will strong
coz i know this is all part of God's plan
to mould me into a person with
FAITH.
faith to move mountains
that i believe.

so God i hope you hear.
though i know you put me through this 'experience'
(so to say) promise you'll never leave me to fend on my own
childish as it may seem.
i need you so much more than ever
though things may change,
i know you love will never.

i'm to busy and frustrated to bother my life with somebody elses
problems anymore.
call it selfish of me as a friend.
but i don't think things can behave like the past.
it's all gone now.
maybe i lost hope in material things
they don't mean anything anymore

no.
i won't show it i promise

2007-05-04T06:01:00.000-07:00

maybe i jumped to conclusions a little too early.
good times don't last forever.

i wish i could hit the restart button
and start all over again.
or maybe hit the delete button
and re-write my life all over again.
my world is crumbling bit by bit
i just know it.
i just do.

what i don't see cannot hurt.
what i don't hear cannot cut.
that's the way i think i want things to stay as

trust things to happen a few days before the mid years
it's like a real test of handling my enotions

God, i need you so much more than ever
Don't forsake me.
i beg you

2007-05-02T02:31:00.000-07:00

came across this while clearing my email

nice ain't it.

heehee.

2007-05-01T05:00:00.000-07:00

1st pic: the cell then(:

2nd pic: the cell now((:

blogging twice in a day

heehee.

yep

that's my cell((:

loves menn.

the people that make my week.

HEEHEE.

i can't wait to really get my cam working

*smiles*

i'm sure the many of yall know why

hee.

when all seems vague,

it's him that sets me and the right path.

let fate decide?

2007-04-30T18:26:00.000-07:00

hehheh.
i just bought a camera.
lol.

ohmy.
i can't believe that it was easier to persuade my mother
to buy a camera then to sign the camp form
for leaders camp
haha. funny ain't it
i mean, there's like so much difference between the both lah.
haiz.
so.. lets just say i won't be going for leaders
coz she still refuses to sign it.
haiz.

oh.
i saw jerry yesterday!
after i bought the camera
heehee.
funny lah
he was walking out of the carpark.
i was walking out of best.
hehheh.
so why did i choose to walk out at that time?
why did he choose to walk out at that time?
hehheh
call it pure coincidence if you must(:
lol

loves-

CELL　ＩＳ　ＬＯＶＥ

2007-04-28T22:28:00.000-07:00

ｈｅｅｈｅｅ．　ｃｅｌｅｂｒａｔｅｄ　ｊｏｅｙｅｅ＇ｓ　ｂｉｒｔｈｄａｙ　ｗｅｌｌ，　ｌｉｋｅ　２　ｗｅｅｋｓ　ａｇｏ．

ｈｅｅｈｅｅ．

ｈａｉｚ．
ｓａｔｕｒｄａｙ　ｈａｓ　ｃｏｍｅ　ａｎｄ　ｇｏｎｅ．
ｏｈｗｅｌｌｓ．　
ｓｔｒｕｇｇｌｅ　ｔｈｒｏｕｇｈ　ｔｈｅ　ｗｅｅｋ　ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ｔｏ.
ｔｈｉｓ　ｐｉｃ　ｉｓ　ｇｏｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｋｅｅｐ　ｍｅ　ｔｈｒｏｕｇｈ　ｔｈｅ　ｗｅｅｋ（（：
ｌｏｌ．
ｈｅｈｈｅｈ．
ｔａｌｋｅｄ　ｔｏ　ｆｒｉｅｎｄ　ｂｅｆｏｒｅ　ｂｅｄ　ｙｅｓｔｅｒｄａｙ．
ｈｅｅｈｅｅ．
——————————————————————————————————————————————

the exams are just around the corner.
i don't know if i'll be able to usher next week though i very much would like to.
haiz.
i shall not sigh too much.
heehee
whee.

alrights i'm feeling kinda random.
heehee.
i better go study for chinese(:
okayy.that smily face is an understatement.
i do not like chinese.

whee.
i'm happy somehow(:
lol.

rejection and disappointment,
i'll lay it at the foot of the cross.

set my mind on the goal before me

2007-04-27T02:45:00.000-07:00

i think i've made up my mind.
i'm going to aim for NYP
early childhood course((:

heehee.

or maybe the
pharmacy science course

heehee.
either one lah
not JC for me(:
i doubt i'll be able to go there anyways

what is early childhood all about?

well,
it is designed to meet the needs of the rising demand for early chilldhood professionals, the programme is jointly developed and delivered with the Regional Training and resource Centre in Early Childhood Care and Education for Asia, the training and consultancy arm of NTUC childcare Cooperative.
you will learn aboutchild development , child health and nutrition, curriculum design and assessment. Gain an awareness of the development and education of children with pecial needs. the ccourse also prepares you with the necessary skills to run and manage early childhood programme.
ECH include both teaching and leadership components in the curriculum.
((:

so cool menn!

______________________________________________________________

anyways. i think i screwed up English totally.
-sighs
section 1 of paper 1 was alright.
just that i'm afraid the teached might not understand what i want to put across.
section 2 was a major screw up.
i forgot to put a something in

paper 2 was a killer!
i din even understand what the question meant at all.
i was doing it blindly lah.
terrible.
the passage was the killer
and coz you din understand the passage, you can't do the questions
which were phrased in a rather understandable way.

heehee

friend told me that my English was chim.
HAH! really meh?
i dont think so.
i guess it's only when the need for it arises.
or when...

but i think i've a spelling problem.
lol.
i can't spell for nuts

heh.

alrights i got to be going.
i'm going out(:
it's a friday.
ohno. i should be studying.
haiz.

-will you let me run into you arms again?

2007-04-24T02:37:00.000-07:00

( heehee. taken from my phone. just brightens your day ain't it)

Mel is a happy girl(:

heehee

why?

because of the simple pleasures in life

heehee

a bar of chocolate((:

lol!

2007-04-23T02:09:00.000-07:00

I see the fingerprints of God everywhere.
I see them in culture. I see them in law.
I see them in literature. I see them in nature.
I see them in my own life.
Trying to understand where God came from is like
an ant trying to understand the Internet.
Even the most brilliant scientist would agree that
we only know a fraction of a percent of the knowledge of the universe.
-Rick warren

it's like suddenly the world is debating about the existance of God
dialouges are getting intense.
people are starting to question religion
is that a sign?
people want answers
is that a good thing?
of cause it is!
it means people are curious(:
(and no, curiosity does not kill the cat)
it means people are interested.
and then...
this verse strikes me:
"the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few"
so what are we doing?

do we wade in our own pool of pity?
sigh because God does not give us what we want?
complain because we don't get things our way?
and then what happens to does who don't know God?
that's the truth of the matter.

i really admire people who are not sorry to boldly
proclaim God's unconditonal and unfailing love.
it always a want for me, but it takes a lot of me to do it.
i feel like i can never size up to my fears.
i always have second thoughts.
i guess i'm afraid of being rejected and persecuted.
that, i've experienced before.
and i must say a lot of times.
i guess that's what's holding me back.

_____________________________________________________

Don't you agree that because of our finite comprehension
we fail to realise that there is after all someone that truely cares for us?
that His manifest presence is always right before our eyes?
that He's always there?
just that we blind ourselves to the very truth because we choose not to believe.

To those i call my friends:
i want to graduate from secondary school knowing that
i have impacted your life in one way or another through God's word.
because i hold you all dear.
God does too.

loves.

2007-04-21T20:24:00.000-07:00

Godly contentment means :
you're contented with what God gives to you and you work hard in what has been given to you(:

contentment says :
1) God i'm thankful for what i have
2) God, i'm willing to walk in you perfect will

i really think this 3 week series : issues of the heart
is really one good topic.
it really targets at all those problem areas in my life
these are the real life issues that youngsters like myself,
go through on a day to day basis.
struggling to keep up with the world's standards,
although at the back of your mind you feel ever so sensitive to God's promptings.
it's just so ironic.
well...
let's just say
i'm learning to let go and let God all over again
it seems like when school becomes the 'god' in my life,
God never fails to give me a wake up call.
that, i'm always thankful for.
hee...

cell...
cell never fails to brighten my day.
heehee
i guess it's all the people God has placed in the cell,
as well as in my life, that sets this straight line curved
sighs- for the simple things like friendship, i realyl really thank God.
coz i do treasure them(:
it's all the retarded things that the cell does that makes my day lah.
heehee.
laughing ages at something not funny but we find funny.
haha.
love them lah((:

saturday, please come faster

For God's unfailing love is more than sufficient
i'll trust in him all my days
for his ways are always higher than mine

mel

2007-04-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

i realise i care a lot about what the world thinks.
well. maybe a little too much.
i take to heart what the world says.
to tell you the truth, it hurts sometimes.
okay. about alot of times.
i guess i really need to rely on God even more
sighs-

His prefect love drives out all fears and inadequacies

God please help me.
i'm begging you to.

2007-04-12T02:29:00.000-07:00

here are the photos that i've failed to upload(: nice ones

1) a bit blur tho. but these are the people that make my life(:

2) The cell((: my hand looks cut off tho
3) val and me! i'm glad that you're back(:

okay i think i can't live without blogging.
it's just a way of life i guess
i platform to express my views and vent my frustrations(:

let me get to easter
before that..
AREA CAMP!

boy was it good((:
thank God for paving a way for me to go for it!
it was really a refreshing experience and touch from God
i believe God used him to speak into my life.
thank you(:
your a great guy after the heart of God and i thank him for you(:
WHEE--

easter EASTER!
i was sure amazed by God((:
i was i was i was
it's just that....
YES.. i was((:

ahhhhh(:
i think you're God sent(:

Mel

2007-04-12T01:53:00.001-07:00

test test(:

-INSPIRE YOUR FAITH

CHANGE!

LOVE

mugg mugg mugg

love

i love you Lord

one step closer to you.

i need you.

time's slowly slipping out of my fingers

please

smiles all around(

Thanks for the memories(

FRIENDS

i could search for all eternity long and find that there is none like you

WHEEEE!

i will never let you go, never let me go.

Happy Birthday To Me(:

38

LOVE

WARNING! long post ahead

untitled

my simple prayer

you're greatness has no boundaries, my heart is filled with praise(

i'm good to go

WHEEEEE

you don''t always get what you want

did you make it this way?

into your hands i commit again

emo-ing

is that still me?

let fate decide?

CELL ＩＳ ＬＯＶＥ

set my mind on the goal before me

CELL　ＩＳ　ＬＯＶＥ